PJ Time

Amith: Did you have food?
Vimal: No, not yet. Will go in sometime.
Amith: Sad man.
Vimal: Is that a new Super Hero?
Amith: Yes and you are Sad Man, I would like to make a movie series of it with atleast 3 or 4 sequels.
Vimal: ha ha ha

Leeni: I want Jamoon.
Vimal: Its going to take a few more years for us to get there. Space travel is not open for commercial passengers yet.
Leeni: What?!?!?!?
Vimal: You said 'Ja' (translates 'go' in hindi) 'Moon.'
Leeni: Oh God.

Vimal: I'm leaving office early tomorrow.
Leeni: Good for you. And good for the company too.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Friend: The 3D effects in Ra One wasn't that great.
Vimal: Which side of the screen you sat at? Front side or the back side?
Everyone: ha ha ha.

Amith writes on his facebook wall on Rajinikanth's birthday:
'Dear Birthday. Happy Rajinikanth to you!'

Leeni: What did you say?
Vimal: Nothing.
Leeni: I thought you said Leeni is smart.
Vimal: Why on earth will I say anything like that?
Leeni: Ya, why would you say anything like that. You don't state the obvious.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Jayanthi was in the cab on her way home and was talking to Vimal over the phone.
Jayanthi: Oh God. There is a huge traffic jam near K R Puram, looks like it will take at least half an hour for this to clear. Wonder what time I'll get home.
Vimal: Don't worry, there is an easy way to clear the traffic jam.
Jayanthi: What?
Vimal: Just peep out of the window and tell the crowd that you are talking to me over the phone and I've confirmed that I'm not coming to K R Puram now. The crowd will be disappointed but will clear away.
Jayanthi: But Vimal, if I tell the crowd that I'm talking to you, they won't go naa.
Vimal: ...... Nobody's asked me questions like this before. I'll get back to you.

Russel: How long will you take to fry the cutlet?
Amith (looking a Vimal): Based on his BMI I think we can fry him in about 10 mins.
Vimal: Its sad that we can't fry you Amith, coz Russel doesn't like veg cutlet.
Amith: How am I a veg cutlet?
Vimal: You are a vegetarian and you are a cutlet, that makes you a veg cutlet. End of story. If you still want to debate on that, you can talk to my hand.
Amith: Huh, Keep trying.

Colleague: He snatched my gift, I haven't opened it yet. It is not fair.
Vimal: How would you know its not fair without opening it?
Colleague: What?
Vimal: Ya. Only when you open the gift and see what it is, you'll know wheter its fair or dark.
Colleague: Aiiyoo.

Vimal: I hate that light they show while shooting videos at weddings.
If I see a cameraman with that at my wedding, I'll shoot him.
Amith: Shoot him with what? Your brother's SLR?
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Vimal: When are you treating me?
Leeni: When I become a doctor.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Version 1:
Colleague: Save the file.
Vimal: Why who is attacking it?
Colleague: What?!?!?!?

Version 2:
Colleague: Save the file.
Vimal: Why? Is it endangered?
Colleague: What?!?!?!?
Vimal writes on his facebook wall:
Everytime the week starts, Monday suffers from Rajinikanth Blues.

Vimal: How are you?
Jayanthi: Ok-Ok.
Vimal: Why not super ok?
Jayanthi: Because I'm not Rajanikanth.
Vimal: ha ha ha.

Amith: I was confused. Now I am Amith.

Vimal's team put up a live crib for Christmas decorations. A live cribis one where people dress up as Mary, Joseph, The 3 Kings, etc and sit / stand around baby Jesus. After seeing the pictures of the Live Crib,
Jayanthi: Where is the sheep?
Vimal: Since they are delicious, I had them for lunch.
Jayanthi: PJ. Thank God, I didn't opt to be the sheep in your live crib. Hey, I could have been the Angel.
Vimal: yup.
Jayanthi: But what about the wings?
Vimal: You don't need wings.
Jayanthi: I'll drink RedBull. 'RedBull gives you wings.'
Vimal: ha ha ha. Mc Donald's.
Jayanthi: ?
Vimal: I'm loving it.
Jayanthi: hee.

Jayanthi: Garnier.
Vimal: what?!?!?
Jayanthi: Take Care.
Vimal: hahaha ok.

Leeni: Spare me.
Vimal: Where? Where?
Leeni: What?!?!?
Vimal: You said 'Spare me' right? Where is the spare you?
Leeni: ha ha ha. Good One.

Leeni: What did you get from you Secret Santa?
Vimal: A Santa Clause toy and a 2012 diary.
Amith: So we wont have any scarcity of milk products.
Vimal: ................ For 2012 yes...........

Friend: Sometimes I get so bugged with the issues at work that feel like I'm managing livestock and not people.
Amith: People are livestock in a way.
Friend: No I mean I fell as if I'm managing cattle.
Amith: That's because you are a catalyst!
Friend: ?!?!?!?!?

(Note: Images in this article are randomly picked from the world wide web.)

Just Look at'em

Publishing this title after a very long time...

No wonder Chinese people are scared to go near this restaurant 

Check out the third bullet point under 'Attention.'

This guy is not just a spelling bee but a spelling bee hive! 

Hey!... Waite a Minuete 

Ok saaar! 

This interview candidate fills up the column meant for the interviewer to fill. The guy mentions the area he lives in under concern areas. Brilliant!  

This candidate hates his / her current employer so much... 

Coming together of two great nations! 

Who Leaves Dosa? The one who didn't like it i guess... 

Definitely not meant for Sewag and Gambhir 

Caret?! 

Probably the right candidate if your business is in terrible crisis. 

Is it cheese or cottage or pakoda? 

Mountan Dew - spelled the same way it is pronounced in Tamil Nadu

PJ Time

While watching KBC, the following question had me puzzled.

Question: Which of the following terms is used to refer to “Bewakoof banana?”

Until the right answer was revealed, I was wondering why on earth will they call a banana a foolish person. Later did I realize that the question was referring to the hindi banana meaning ‘making’ while I was thinking it was referring to the English banana - the fruit. From then on my friends have given me a new nick name – Bewakoof Banana (in this case banana means the fruit).

While serving dinner
Leeni: Aparna made the vegetables.
Vimal: Oh. I Didn't know that you are into farming.
Aparna: Ya I do a lot of farming in Farmville.
Vimal: I don't have a come back for that....

In a training,
Trainer: What is a scatter diagram?
Vimal: A chart with chicken pox?
Everyone: Ha ha ha....

Leeni: what is this? You are not giving me a chance to fight only.
Vimal: That's the idea.
Leeni: what is this yaa? Mein shaanthi se lad bhi nahi sakthi.
Vimal: Why do you want to fight with Shanthi?
Leeni. Aye. Nonsense.

After watching the biggest disaster of the year - Ra One.

Leeni: With great difficulty we got these guys to watch a Sharukh Khan movie in the theatre, now after this nobody will come for a Sharukh Khan movie ever again.

Amith: I know.

Vimal: Hey, I will come again for a Shahrukh Khan movie.

Leeni: But we are talking about nobody naa Vimal and you are not nobody na Vimal.

Vimal: Well, actually I'm nobody for somebody.
Leeni: But I am not somebody naa Vimal.
Vimal: Ok. I give up.

Vimal: Hey, which car is that? Oh its an Optra.
Amith: Why?
Vimal: It looks odd with that spoiler.
Amith: Put one more spoiler and then it'll look even!
Vimal:?!?!?!?!?



Leeni was walking up to the elevator.
Vimal: Take the stairs Leeni.
Leeni: Take it where? And put it in your head is it?
Vimal: Oh God.

Chai: That cooker is making a funny sound.
Leeni: Is it? Why are you not laughing then?
Chai: oh God Leeni, you too.

Vimal: Hey Chai, you keep using this word blumin all the time - blumin current is gone, blumin lift is not working, etc. What does it mean?

Chai: shut up Vimal.

Vimal: oh ok ok I know what it means, it means a fish that is blue in color.

Chai: What!?!?!?

Vimal: Blue Meen macha, put together becomes blumin right?
Chai: How do people put up with you man?

Russel: oh Shit, I left my lipguard in the car.
Amith: Rich people macha.
Vimal: What?!?!?
Amith: ya macha normally people keep bodyguard but this guy has a guard for his lip also.
Vimal: he he he....

Vimal: Good news for Shopping enthusiasts – Phoenix Shopping mall is opening tomorrow.
Jayanthi: Why not today?
Vimal: Because I told them I won’t be able to make it for the ribbon cutting due to security concerns.
Jayanthi: LOL. What security concerns?
Vimal: The security guards in the mall have some problem with me and won’t let me in. That’s the security concern.
Jayanthi: Ha ha.

While fixing a mechanical defect in the car,
Amith: This nut needs to be full tight maga.
Vimal: Just pour half a bottle of vodka on it,
Amith: What will that do?
Vimal: The nut will get drunk and become full tight macha.
Amith: dai!

Another friend joins us while we were still working through the mechanical defect.

Russel: how many nuts did I give you?

Vimal: 4 and an extra nut just arrived.
Russel: ha ha.

A few minutes later this friend left and while he was leaving,
Vimal: Macha, are you sure you don't need the extra nut? Coz its just leaving.
Friend: Ay bugger.

On the way back home after fixing the mechanical defect.
Vimal: I think I'll pack my stuff about 15 - 20 mins before we leave. What do you say?
Amith: Anything macha, anyways you won't take much time to pack. You are well organised.
Vimal: you really think so?
Amith: I don't know, I'm just being cautious as you still have the hammer in your hand.
Vimal: ha ha ha

While watching 'My Name is Khan' on TV, Amith who was about to get married the following weekend, says, ''My Name is Kumar and I'm not a bachelor.'

Vimal: Oh Dear Lord!
Leeni: Tell me.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?

Jayanthi: Are you crazy?
Vimal: No I am Vimal.
Jayanthi: PJ.
Vimal: Poor Joke?
Jayanthi: No. Poor Jayanthi.
Vimal: he he he.

Vimal: See you. Enjoy your trip to Mysore.
Jayanthi: I may go.
Vimal: You are going in October, not May. And before you say it – PJ.
Jayanthi: Daiiii

After we reached Hassan.

Vimal: Do you know what a lotus is called in this place?

Russel, Leeni & Amith: What?

Vimal: Kamal Hassan.

Russel, Leeni & Amith: Dai.

Leeni: We won’t wake up until 11, 11:30 tomorrow.

Vimal: But leg mother will come earlier than that?
Leeni: What leg mother?
Vimal: Our maid Kalamma (Kal – leg, Amma – mother)
Leeni & Russel: Ha Ha Ha….

Vimal: Nice place, can we stop by here on the way back and roam around?
Amith: Dude, why just roam around, you can paris around also.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!

Vimal: I think we all need to call our moms and say 'Hi.'
Everyone in the car: Why?
Vimal: We just went past a Thai airways hoarding which said, "Say hi to Thai."
Everyone in the car: Oh God VIMAL!!!!

Vimal: Hey can we call Uttam Sagar and ask for door delivery?
Leeni: But we don't need doors Vimal, we need food.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

At a tollgate on the way to Tumkur.
Amith: Macha let's buy the daily pass.
Vimal: Why you are buying a daily pass macha, we are not going to come here daily.
Amith: No V (meaning Vimal) will come here daily. Now that we have bought the daily pass you will have to ensure you come here daily.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!

While sitting out in the balcony on a rainy day.

Vimal: I wonder if these frogs keep making this sound the whole night.

Russel: There are so many out there, I thought frogs are in the verge of extinction.

Vimal: Is it?

Russel: Ya I was seeing some documentary on Nat Geo and they were saying frogs have been listed as endangered species and are in the verge of becoming extinct.
Vimal: Hmmm. Must be because of Indians only.
Russel: How?
Vimal: Indians produce so many kids each year. And year after year more kids go to school and dissect frogs in the labs.
Russel: Ha ha ha...

Amith: I know why you have this undying sprit macha.
Vimal: Why?
Amith: Because you can't dye naa and that's why you have the undying spirit.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Vimal: I am thinking...
Leeni: Thinking is Tax free naa that's why you keep thinking so much macha. If they have to tax people for thinking imagine the amount of tax you'll pay for your PJs.
Amith: I know every month he'll be complaining he didn't get any salary due to tax deductions. They will even levy luxuary tax for his PJs.
Leeni: No macha, they will levy health tax so that government can treat all the people who are affected because of his PJs.
Vimal: Oh Dear Lord.

Vimal: What macha you are confused about the colors huh. I'll go tell everybody that you are colorblind.
Amith: Please go ahead, I'll tell everybody that you are an eastman color.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Amith: Dude, are you pissed?
Vimal: No. Why do you ask?
Amith: Nothing there is a toilet here that's why I asked.

Chidu: Find out howmany people are coming from your office.
Amith: Let me look up my contacts group called IBM and see.
Chidu: You have a contact group for your office contacts!?!?!?
Vimal: Oh macha he is heights of organisation. I wont be surprised if he has groups called IBM D Block ground floor, IBM D block 1st floor, etc.
Amith & Chidu: Ha ha ha...

(Note: Images in this article are randomly picked from the world wide web.)

What is ABC

Driving! A passion for some and a pain in the ass for some. What's it for me? Well I will know that once I've learnt how to drive. Driving is one of the skills that I hadn't acquired until now and one fine day I just decided to go and acquire it. So I ended up in Maruti Driving School. Learning to Drive in Maruti Driving School is fun, here are some funny encounters I've had qwith my instructors.

After one has completed the theory classes, one will need to start with Simulation and Practicals. But before that, there is demo session that one needs to attend. What happens in this demo session, one of the instructors will show you the car - the controls, the safety features, the hood, what one needs to know about the car to be able to drive and maintain and the dos & dons.

So in my demo session I got this instructor who I believe always wanted to be right. We got in the car, he was sitting in the driver's seat and I was in the passenger seat. He sarted asking me questions, starting with the foot control.

Instructor: What are the foot controls?
Me: ABC.

Instructor: What is ABC?

Me: Its Accelerator, Break and Clutch.

Instructor: Good. Now what is the accelerator used for?

Me: It is used to increase the speed of the vehicle.

Instructor: Wrong. Accelerator is used to send power to the engine.

Me: Ok.
Instructor: Now what is the Break used for?
Me: To stop the vehicle?
Instructor: NO. Break is used to slow down and then stop the vehicle.
Me: Ok Fine.

I figured out by then that this guy expects us to memorise the definitions taught in our theory classes and recite the same when he asks us questions. I know the technical answer to the next question already so I was just waiting for him to jjust ask the question.

Instructor: What is the clutch used for?
 Me: A clutch is used to disengage power from the engine! (I was almost certain that he whont have anything to comment on that)
Instructor: NO. Clutch is used to change gears.
Me: ______ Ok.
Man I was baffled by his never give up attitude.

A little while later we were on the streets driving around and this guy was giving me instructions as I drove around. At one point I used the horn and the instructor told me that I hadn't honked enough. Then he followed it up with a question, "What is a horn used for?" 'Here we go again' I said to myself as I cleared my thorat to answer his question, "A Horn is used to alert other people or vehicles on the road." The instructor did not confirm if my answer was right or wrong but gave an answer himself. I think it was a rhetorical question, anyways here is the reason why you honk according to my instructor,

"You honk for two reasons. One is to say Hi and one is to say OYE."

Being a polite young man, I waited till I got home and laughed about it.... :-D

Flat Tyre at the Pit Stop

(A Short Story)

It’s been a hectic week at work, with each day getting worse than the other. We were at the brink of concluding one of the massive projects ever attempted in the country in the recent times. No one has tried something of this magnitude with such aggressive time lines before. This project will boost my resume such that I can just walk into any organisation and print my own appointment letter!


I have been on marathon meetings the whole day and I was desperate for a smoke and a cup of tea. My frustration level went up when I got to know that I’d left my cigarette pack at home that day. It was in the least of my intentions and interests to be seen in office after working non stop for 14 hours especially considering that I started work at 4AM, which is very unusual.

I wasted no time in leaving my floor but just when I got closer to my car at the basement, I was apprehended by a colleague for about 15 minutes. This dude was thanking me for roping him into this project and what a great learning experience it was blah blah blah. I artificially simulated certain body languages to subtly tell him that he is chewing my brains / wasting my time but I don’t think he caught any of it. I even tried yawning a couple of times but it was of no use, those 15 minutes felt like fifteen years! So just when the sixteenth year started, I told him I’m, getting late and could wait no longer, I finally fled!

There is this chai shop on my way home where I’ve made quite a few pit stops in the past, mostly for cigarettes and tea. Like Naseeruddin Shah says in ‘A Wednesday’ there are some people you don’t know by name but just by a Hi & a Hello, that’s the kind of relationship I share with this guy who runs this chai shop.

I was put through a series of ‘tests of patience’ from signal to signal, as if crawling inch by inch in one of the most powerful cars in the country wasn’t a punishment enough. At the speed at which the traffic was moving, one could update their Facebook status message at least 5 times between each signal. Talking of Facebook, I pulled out my blackberry to kill some time. While I was waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, I managed to sign 3 petitions for green peace, one for BT Brinjal, one opposing the Dharma Port project in Orissa and one against the nuclear liability bill.

Finally I got to the pit stop, got myself a 20s pack kings and a cup of chai, man it felt so great. The guy at the chai shop just started making hot bajjis and vadas that tempted me to stay back and grab a few bites. Well considering how hungry I was I would actually need to have kilo bites and mega bites! I also thought I’ll get the puncture done on my spare wheel that I have been putting off for months now. While the guy at the chai shop was busy making bajjis and vadas, I walked across the road to this mechanic shop to get the guy to come over and fix my spare wheel.


The guy at the mechanic shop looked pretty decent and knowledgeable, must have done a diploma in automobile engineering I guess. After listening to me patiently, he smiled and said he’ll send his boy in a couple of minutes to get the spare wheel from my car. His shop looked pretty well equipped and clean. As I walked back to the tea stall, ordered my snacks and went over to my car to open the boot and have it ready, I saw this small kid emerge out of the mechanic shop.

He must be about 10 – 12 years of age and was holding a long spanner in one hand that made him look like a cricketer walking out of the dugout with a mongoose bat. He wore a Chennai Super Kings T-Shirt and from the Reebok branding on the t-shirt one could easily conclude that it was picked up from a roadside seller. There were a few glimpses of bright yellow still visible in the grease tainted t-shirt. The kid carefully crossed the road and came over to my car; he appeared weak, probably malnourished. It looked like the black thread he’d tied on his right arm gave him more strength than the meal he gets to eat everyday.

The Kid greeted me with a smile just like the owner of the mechanic shop, I said to my self “reflection of the manager!” He peeped into my car’s boot and tried to pull the spare wheel out and I must say it was bit of a struggle for him. Presuming it’s too heavy for him, I helped him out with getting the wheel out of the boot. He rolled the wheel back to the shop and started working on it along with his boss.

By then my snack was ready, as I munched through the bhajjis and vada I was watching the kid and his boss fix my wheel. The kid first looked for any nails on the tyre, removed all the small stones stuck to the tyre and skilfully opened the tyre and started working on the puncture. It looked like the kid was very well trained and is a professional at what he did. While he was at it, a motorist stopped by and asked the kid to help with tightening the breaks. The kid helped the motorist with a smile and did not take money for what he did. I could see that the kid and his boss were exchanging a few laughs as they worked through the puncture, looks like that kid has been working there for quite some time. I was wondering why that guy would employ a kid in his mechanic shop. I mean the guy looked pretty decent and educated, doesn’t he know that child labour is illegal? I was now curious to find out if that kid actually works there or if he is the owner’s relative who helps him out in between school.

In a few minutes, the kid was back with my spare wheel, as we were putting the wheel back into the boot, I started a conversation with him in the local language,

“Do you work here?”
“________”
“You don’t go to school?”
“________”

The kid just put my wheel back in the boot, did not look me in the eye and walked back straight into his shop without uttering a word to me or to his boss. He sat beside his boss and started working on an old car battery. The guy at the chai shop then told me that the kid works there and he does not go to school.

I walked over to the kid’s boss and paid him for the puncture; I then reached out to the kid and gave him 50 bucks. To my astonishment the kid refused to take the money, I tried telling him that I liked his work that’s why I’m tipping him but he bluntly asked me to pay his boss if that was the case.

As I walked back to my car, I was feeling bad for the kid. Such a nice kid – honest and hardworking, I thought he definitely deserves better things in life. I’m sure if we put this guy in school, he will do a fabulous job. I don’t know why I felt that way but sometimes you get that hunch when you look at people and that turns out to be so damn right later. Wanting to do something for this kid, I was trying really hard to remember the child help line number, I remember seeing those numbers put up inside town buses during my collage days but darn I can’t remember it now.

I thought it would be better if I simply called the cops than trusting my memory, I made the call. A little later did I realise that I could’ve looked up the Child Helpline number on Google, sometimes my thought process is so old fashioned. Nevertheless, I’ve called the cops and I was sure they will inform the child relief authorities. I was just thinking, these are the kids who grow up as illiterates and evolve into extremists or terrorists.

The person I spoke to, took details of the location, description of the shop, owner, kid and my discussion with the kid. He asked me to wait there till the cops arrived, so I ordered for some more snacks and waited. The cops where there in less than 15 minutes, I was impressed! They walked straight to the mechanic shop and in no time the owner and the kid were in the back of the jeep.

One of the cops pulled out his cell phone, dialled some number and started looking around as he waited for the number to get connected. Assuming he was looking for me, I walked up to the cop. As I got closer to him my phone rang, the cop called out my name upon seeing me and I confirmed that it was me who made that phone call. The cop thanked me and was about to take leave but I held him back for a small Q & A session.

I asked the cop, what’s next and the cop confirmed that they will do an enquiry with the boss and the kid and based on their responses they will take the necessary action. I asked him if they are going to refer the kid to child relief or something, the cop said in some cases yes, but it depends on how the enquiry goes. He told me that generally they take such kids back to their homes, counsel their parents and probably watch over that kid for a few days. In either case they will inform me on what happened. I thanked the cop and got back to crawling between signals.

Work continued to be hectic, a week passed by and I haven’t heard from the cop yet, nor did I try to find out what happened. I did not have any case number and I hadn’t saved that cop’s phone number as well. All I knew was that cop’s name was Rajashekar, pretty common name for a cop! I thought I should call up 100 once I get home that night and see if they can provide me any details.

The day was tiring enough, more so because I forgot to have lunch again. I left office a bit early and went over to my pit stop. It took me 30 minutes to get to the chai shop, with a total driving time of 5 minutes and a total ‘signal wait time’ of 25 minutes. After I got my cigarettes and chai, I asked the chai shop owner if he knows what happened to the kid. The guy said he was not sure what happened to the kid but the owner of the mechanic shop came back couple of hours after the cops took him that evening. I was certain that the mechanic bribed the cops and got out.

I shouldn’t have called the cops, the guy who should be punished got away easily and now no news of the kid. I was upset, I started to wonder what kind of society we live in, how irresponsible and selfish people can be, so on and so forth. While I sat there and wondered what I should do next, I heard a loud noise followed by my car’s auto cop siren. I turned around and realised that the noise came from my windscreen when it cracked. I saw that kid who used to work in the mechanic shop running towards my car from behind a tree. As he ran past my car, he scratched the car from head to tail on one side with a stone and fled.

I was furious, I tried to help that stupid kid and he smashes my car!? The kid ran so fast that I did not have anytime to react but just stare at the cracked windscreen and the scratch. Suddenly the chai shop’s occupancy went up with more bums on benches. All sitting with a glass of chai and wondering what happened to my car. Some of them were reacting as if it was their car; I actually checked the license plate, just to be sure.

It was already quarter past six and I wasn’t sure if the service station was still open and if they could fix the windscreen the same day. I was already having a tough time and the last person I wanted to face came over and stood beside me – the mechanic! I did feel a bit awkward and a bit scared but thought its better I break the ice with this guy. So I told him,

“Sorry about what happened the other day; I didn’t mean to get you in trouble but was simply worried about the kid.”

“It’s ok Sir. It wasn’t a big problem for me either. 50 bucks I paid the cop and he let me go in a couple of hours. I know you are wondering why that kid will smash your car when all you did was to help the kid”

“Yes! Absolutely, why doesn’t the kid see what I’m trying to do for him?”

“Its simple, his family was having 3 three meals a day till the time this kid was working in my mechanic shed. After the cops got involved, I can’t employ this kid anymore, nor can the kid be seen working anywhere else – the cops are watching us. Now the kid’s family only gets to eat two meals a day. You are thinking of the future but the kid and his family need to live for the day. If his parents had to start funding this kid’s education how are they going to feed the family? I hope you now understand the kid’s anger.”

“_______.”

I walked back to my car without saying a word; I did not have an answer to the mechanic’s question nor did I have a solution to the kid’s problem. For the first time in my life I felt ashamed of the same thing that I felt proud of a week ago. Life teaches us lessons the hard way; I just wished it did not teach me a lesson at the cost of someone else’s livelihood. I was clear in my mind that I will work on providing a sensible contribution from now on, I don’t know how yet, but I will.

Mein Kahan Hoon???

August 5th 20011, it was one of those routine fridays when I had the least of intentions to work and was looking forward for the weekend. Work started off slow and lousy like everyother week day and some time

around mid day Murphy's Law came into effect!

Just when I was looking forward to leave office on time and get started with the weekend we came to know of a screw up that had to be rectified the same day. The Math told us that it would take us an entire day to clear it and that we will need to come in to work on saturday. Though I did not have any plans for the weekend, the thought of having to work on saturday was terrifying. We decided not to come in to work on saturday, instead stay back friday night however long it takes and finish off the work.

This means I will miss my friday evening routine, What is mr friday routine? I go back home and catch up with my best friends. (I have 3 best friends - Russel, Leeni & Amith and my life revolves around them). Its still better than not being able to catch up with them the whole of saturday. Leeni & I work at the same place, I walked up to her desk and told her that I may end up working on saturday. She also recommended that I stick to plan B and finish off the work by stretching on friday night. She said she has made some plans for Saturday late in the morning for the 4 of us and did not want me to come to work.

Without wasting any further time, I got back to work with the team. As we progressed through the evening, we started to see light at the end of the tunnel as the system speed dramatically improved post business hours. In the next few minutes that light turned out to be an approaching train - the servers crashed.

While we waited for the systems to come back up we were aimlessly wandering around in the world wide web trying to find the developers of the application that just crashed. At regular intervals I was in touch with my

best friends giving them an update on whats going on and sharing my frustration over the application's performance.

At around 12 midnight Leeni called me up and said they are going to sleep, but Amith will stay awake. She told me to wake them up what ever time I return and that we will drive down to Maddur. All four of us love long drives and when we don't get an opportunity to go on a weekend getaway at regular intervals, we drive down to Maddur or BIA (Bangalore International Airport) sit in coffee day for sometime and drive back. These drives have always been fun.

Though the systems came back, the system speed was way too frustrating for us to tolerate. At around 3AM we gave up and decided to call it a day. The guys from my team said they will come in later in the day on saturday and complete the workload.

Too tired and lazy to ride back home, I called Amith. He came over to pick me up, once we reached home we woke Russel & Leeni up and we all decided to meet up in about 30 mins. Leeni just told me that there is a surprise for all of us and that we need to wear shoes as there is some trecking involved. Without asking any further questionns, I went up to my apartment, took a shower, got ready and came down to Russel's place.

Leeni has been talking about to going on a trek to Skandagiri for quite sometime, and I was starting to think that is where she was taking us. We left home at around 4 AM, headed towards Maddur or Skamdagiri or God knows where else. Since I hadn't had any sleep I dozzed off on the way and when I woke up after a short nap we were still on the road and hey the route we were on didn't look familiar. I was almost certain that the plan was for us to go to Skandagiri for an early morning trek to see the sunrise. Thanks to me we now won't be able to see the sunrise as we were already late. I asked Russel if that is where we are going and he said he is not sure either as Leeni has not mentioned much about where we are headed but has just been giving directions. I now started pestering Leeni asking if it was Skandagiri and finally she fell prey for my nagging and confirmed Skandagiti is where we are headed. She also thanked me for spoiling the fun with my spoiler alert.

A few minutes post day break Russel pulled over and stopped by a Petrol Station to fill fuel and there was a coffee day just besides the petrol station. After filling fuel we parked the car and got into coffee day for some snacks and coffee. I asked Leeni if she got her camera and she said she forgot. It would have been nice if she'd got her camera because from what I've heard the view from the top (skandagiri) is amazing. But then I remembered that Amith had just bought a new Samsung Galaxy S2 which had an amazing 8 megapixed HD camera so I thought we are still ok.

                            

As we completed our pit stop and got back on the highway Russel said, "I still have no clue where we are going and I'm sure Leeni and Vimal have planned this together." Still convincecd that we are headed to Skandagiri, I was looking forward for the trek. We continued to drive and drive and drive.... I was looking all around and for some strange reason I cannot see any indications of any hilly area in the vicinity. I started getting suspicious about where we are headed and went back the drawing board again - in my mind.

I launched Google Maps on my phone to find out where we are and in which direction we are headed. BSNL mobile has a great reputation of not being available and or of giving some wierd errors messages on connectivity when you need it the most and they lived up to their reputation this time as well. Still as confused as I was when we left home, I told my friends, "I'm starting to think that you guys are taking me on a long trip. I don't have any clothes to change so it will be nice if you guys can stop at the next town so that I can buy some clothes for myself." As no one seemed to take my comment seriously we resorted back to our normal long drive conversations.

We continued to drive and drive and drive..... Suddenly out of the blue, Leeni pulled out her camera and handed it over to me, she said "Here. Take." This was the same camera that she said she had forgotten to bring along. It was at that moment, I started to freak out. I said, "Oh freak. Leeni you said you forgot to bring the camera a while ago and now you are pulling it out of nowhere. I won't be surprised if you guys are taking me on a weekend trip. And I wont be surprised if all your bags are packed and kept in the boot and I am the only one with out any clothes to change for the entire trip." No one said anything in return but just had a smirk on their faces.

I got off my seat, turned over to the boot and I saw some quilts lying there (these were the quilts Russel has been telling he needs to drop at the drycleaner). As I moved the Quilts to one side I saw three bags!!!!

"OH FREAK. OH FREAK. WHAT IS HAPPENING? OH FREAK. Where are we going? Where are you guys taking me? FREAK" as I was freaking out Russel, Leeni and Amith were laughing their guts out (of course even I was laughing). As the laughter in the car slowly reduced, Amith and Leeni handed over some print outs to me in which there were some route maps! I could see Mangalore, Sakleshpur, etc in these maps and finally I realised that these guys have booked a homestay in Sakleshpur for the Friendship Day weekend and have been planning this surprise trip for me for more than a week!

The night before we left, Lenni had gone up to my apartment, told my parents about the plan, packed my stuff and put it in the car. She'd done such a good job with packing my stuff that I never fell short of anything. The surprise was way too good and I just couldn't stop smiling and laughing, in fact we all were smiling and laughing all the way to Sakleshpur and the whole trip turned out to be that way. I can't remember when was the last time I laughed and smiled so much.

The home stay these guys had booked was amazing and the place where went to turned out to be an excellent weekend getaway spot. Similar to the other trips we have been on, we took the Safari 4x4 on an offroading spree, climbed mountains, crossed rivers, took pictures, ate good food, relaxed, played games, pulled each others legs, got drenched in the rain, parked the safari in the middle of a stream & washed it, had a camp fire, almost got stuck in a spookey place & got back, laughed like crazy, celebrated and had loads & loads of fun. I don't think we would've had so much fun even as kids. What an amazing trip it turned out to be and this is the best vacation I have ever been on so far. Kudos to my dear firends for pulling this off! I can't stop smiling everytime I think of this trip :-) :-) :-)

Like I always say, I have been blessed with these three great friends and the best phase of my life so far has been and is the time I've been with these guys. I never have to tell them how I felt or what I wanted, they know it without me having to say it and they will ensure I get what I want without me having to ask for it.

If I could borrow Peter Parker's words from the first Spiderman movie and change it a bit, it would go like.

"Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: With great friends comes great things in life. This is my gift, my blessing. Who am I? I'm Russel, Leeni & Amith's best friend."

Note: If you are not so familiar with the above mentioned words from the Spiderman movie, here is the original version.

Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-man.

(Note: The images & Photos in the first half of this article have been randomly picked from the internet.)

There is something in the Air!

Steve Jobs one of the greatest visionaries who steered Apple from the verge of collapse to a brand that redefined computing, media and entertainment way beyond our times.

The man who redefined computing, the man who gave us the iPod, the man who gave us the thinnest laptop in the world (which still remains unbeaten for 3+ years), the man who gave the world the greatest animation movies of all times (like Toy Story), the man who gave the world the best computer operating system, the man who made apple get back up on its feet and stand tall ever since his re-entry - is no more. The news of his demise has came across as a shock, I have never felt so bad in a long time.

His retirement in August, though it was expected came across as a shocker, we even saw a surge in the NSE owing to his retirement. And the news of his demise shortly after his retirement is more than what we can handle. 

Steve Jobs is one leader that I have admired the most, more so after reading the book "Inside Steve's Brain." I still remember the day he lauched the Mac Book Air, his phrase "There is something in the air" is probably one of the best phrases ever in a Product Launch. I don't think we've had a CEO of his caliber in the past and never will. Like the products he launched, Steve Jobs was a leader who was always way ahead of times that others could not even think about catching up.

There are many aspects that cry out loud as to why Steve Jobs is such a great leader, his letter of resignation is one such,

"To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:



I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.


I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.


As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.


I believe Apple's brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.


I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you."
 
His life as a whole is an inspiring and fascinating tale. His greatness cannot be confined to just one blog post. He continues to live on in our hearts....
 
May his soul rest in peace, we'll miss you Steve.

PJ Time

On seeing a well,

Vimal: Hey is this a wishing well?

Russel: Yes you can sit here and keep wishing Good Morning, Good Afternoon....

Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Leeni: This guy was an expat in Poland.

Vimal: Sorry who spat on me?

Renzil: Your Ex Spat on you.

Everyone: Ha ha ha

Vimal: If you guys keep pulling my leg I'll commit suicide.
Leeni: Don't give us false hopes like this Vimal.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?!?

Vimal: I Know Salsa, Jive and Salsa & Jive.
Leeni What is salsa & jive?
Vimal: salsa & jive is when I confuse between the two and mix up the steps.
Leeni: Ha ha ha....

Chai: A while ago I gave an interview in Dell, but they couldn't affort me.
Vimal: Hmm....
Chai: The CTC offered was not that great.
Vimal: Oh you were talking about the CTC is it?
Chai: Hey Monkey.

Herby: Bugger number port from BSNL to airtel na, your phone is forever not reachable.
Vimal: No Herby I have full signal, see here. (showing the signal strength in mobile display).
Herby: That's a wallpaper.
Vimal:?!?!?!!?

Colleague: You got a new laptop?! How?

Vimal: Well, I was sitting by the river and working and my old laptop slipped and fell in the river. Then a godess came from inside the river with a macbook and asked if its mine, I said no. then she came back with a Dell Latitude, I said its not mine, then finally she came back with my HP Laptop and I confirmed its mine. As a token of appreciation for my honesty she gave me all three laptops and today I got the Dell Latitude to work.

Colleague: Oh God. forget it.



Colleague: Your error log says "Human Error?"
Vimal: Ya,  it means its an error that this guy is a human thats why he keeps making the same mistake again and again.
Colleague: Ha ha ha....

Herby: We are going to Bhagini now, you want to join?
Vimal: You are going to Bhagini now? How come?
Herby: We checked in the calendar and looks like now is an auspicious time that's why.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Amith:; Shut Up.
Vimal: Why are you talking to yourself looking at me?
Leeni: Good One.

Vimal: Do you know what an e-mail attachment is?
Colleague: What?
Vimal: When you grow fond of an email and become attached to it, its called email attachment.
Colleague: he he he...

Vimal: You've got cold?

Amith: Yes.

Vimal: Your nose is blocked?

Amith: Yes.

Vimal: You have headache also? 

Amith: Nope.

Vimal: Oh shit.

Amith: Why? What happened?

Vimal: If you had headache also, I would have recommended you to take Vicks acction 500.

Vimal: What time you said you are coming home?

Amith: I don't know.

Vimal: Interesting. How do i check for I don't know time in my watch? I can see only 1 to 12.

Here is an old incident I happened to remember. Once i'd gone to church street with my friend (in my bike) as my friend wanted to buy a mobile phone. A few yards after you enter church street (from Brigade Road) there used to be a mobile shop. As we didn't find any good deals there, we thought we'd go someplace else and checkout some deals. Without realising that Church Street was a oneway, we drove back into Brigrade Road. Just as we entered Brigade Rode, a cop appeared infront of us from nowhere similar to how God used to appear in indian movies in the 90's.

The cop spoke to us in Kannada, he said that we have come in the wrong side on a one way street and we have to pay a fine. Both of us did not much of kannada then (even now its the same case, but thats a different thing) so we spoke to the cop in english. We told him that we've driven in the wrong side for only about 10 meters and that he should pardon us and let us go. I don't think the cop liked our argument and we realised that the cop wanted to give it back to us propertly and that too in english!

He took us to the side, turned around and asked,
"I headache. OK. one table, ten tablet - headache headache?"
while we were still wondering what the hell just came out of his mouth, the cop came to the point,
"Same way 10 meters or 10,000 meters, offence is offence."
We wanted to laugh but in the best interests of keeping our chances of succeeding in our negotiations with the cop, we controlled our emotions. And as people strongly bound by the Indian Culture, we bribed the cop and got away.

(Note: Pictures in this article have been randomly picked from the world wide web via google.)

Brilliant Ads!!!

(Best viewed on the blog http://vipages.blogspot.com)

A while ago I'd put up an article on horrible & stupid television advertisements and its high time I shared some of the brilliant TV ads of all time. A very good ad makes the viewers watch it completely (probably multiple times), drive the message across and most important of all make people remember the product. Some ads even go beyond that and create such a good impact on the viewers that phrases or the songs from the ad is used by people in their day to day lives. For Example: The "Hamara Bajaj" song, the dilogues from Woodwards gripe water, etc.

Here are some of those ads that have defined how good advertisements must be made. These are ads that feature in Indian televisions and the below list does not include International ads.

Bajaj Pulsar:

The Bajaj Pulsar involving dramatised stunts that hit the screens is by far the best 2 wheeler advertisement we've seen. The starts with a disclaimer and then goes on to portray a stunning display of some breathtaking stunts performed using the highest selling two wheeler in India. The background score is mild yet aggressive and simply brilliant! The visual and the audio together makes pulser look like the most desierable two wheeler!

Nike India:

No other advertisement has managed to capture a day in India so well. The ad brilliantly captures, the chaos in a crowded traffic junction, the guys trying to play cricket amidst the chaos and different people coming toghther to play cricket. They've even managed to use a statue from that junction to relate to cricket. Simply Brilliant! The music gives a rustic feel to the whole ad and brings a smile in the viewers face. The highlight of the ad is when the screen freezes with a bowler in the air and Nike's phrase "Just Do It" appears with the tick mark logo. No other ad has managed to capture the essense of a brand like this one. Worth watching many a times!

Pepsi Helicopter Shot:

This is one of the best off the innovative ads Pepsi has made off late. Its amazing how they managed to link that one legendary shot of Dhoni's to something else. Though it is not related to the brand directly, it sure will make you laugh the first time you see it. And for an ad that does not relate directly to the brand like the others in this list the brand still does make an impression with the viewers! The other similar Pepsi ads with other crickets some how does not impress.

Tata Safari:

This is another brilliant ad that makes the product make a striking impression. The music that plays when the vechile apprears on screen makes the presentation stunning. The expression on the animals faces and the appearance of the Safari on the screen is so well orchrestrated that you could not ask for a better projection of the brand and the product. The ad captures the essence of Tata Safari and conveys the message loud and clear that the Safari is an all terrain conquerer.

Vodafone Number Porting:

This is a very good ad of Vodafone promoting the number porting facility. No words spoken and yet this ad features the most simple yet effective portrayal of  the number porting facility. This ad clicked becuase you can easily relate to this ad - what you see here is something you might have experienced in your own life. The selection of the cast is also good and the ad does drive some amount of adoration.

Another brillinat Ad campaign of Vodafone is the Ad series featuring one of the most adorable on screen characters the "ZooZoo." These ads are the coming together of amazing creativity, a very good sense of humour and brilliant advertising. Each one of the ZooZoo ads are a class apart and never fails to communicate the features that the ad is set out to advertise. The best of all is the one which features the ZooZoo as a superhero promoting the launch of the Vodafone 3G services.

Samsung 3D LED TV

This is by far the best Television ad for a Television ever! The new 3D LED TVs of Samsung takes tv viewing experience to an all new level - that's the messsage Samsung had to convey to the viewers and the message comes out loud and clear in this ad.

The ad starts with a soothing music where the 3D LED TVs are installed in public places and what follows is simply breathtaking! The visuals shown through the television are either life like or better than 'life like.' This ad helps project this product of Samsung as one of the most desirable products you would want to possess.

Samsung Smart TV:

This is another brilliant ad from Samsung for their Smart TV. The ad displays an array of stunning visuals (that you see through the Smart TV) and brilliant music. The Smart TV can connect to the internet and bring the whole universe in your television screen, which is exactly what the ad shows you in a striking yet suttle way. The 3D LED and the Smart TV ads of Samsung are two of the most innovative ad campaigns in recent times.

Honda Jazz

This ad takes you back to your childhood, reminds you of those fun moments you would've had in the various rides you would've enjoyed as a kid (like the swing, shopping cart ride, etc). The ad brings back the feeling and so does the Honda Jazz addording to the ad. The way the vehicle makes an appearance in the ad is also quite impressive and the music just gets grander when the vehicle comes in. You see the Jazz coming in, in reverse and effortlessly does a 180 degrees drift in motion, quite similar to the other rides they show in the ad.

Tata Manza & Indica:

Tata Motors is one of the brands that makes some really good ads time and again. Some of their ads are humourous and help create a long lasting impression on the viewers for its brand. Here are two of those ads that sell on humour. The new Tata Manza ad and the old Tata Indica ad.

Tata Manza - A Class Apart

Tata Indica

Dairy Milk:

There is one brand that has been consistently making "feel good" and brilliant ads for years now - Cadbury's DairyMilk. Two of their ad campaigns that stand out are the one where the girl barges into the cricket field and starts dancing to celebrate and the one where they show a family having dinner together.

The first ad will sure bring a smile in your face and it makes you a good feeling & make you feel nice. The second ad, will simply make you feel like it is happening in your own household.

One more aspect that really stands out in DairlyMilk ads is their selection of actors/models. They are so real and you can relate to the actors/modes in the ad. They look like people you come across in your daily life or even people in your family or fiends circle. Besides a brillint selection of cast the ads also shows simple things from our day to day life that brings joy & happiness - one of the reasons why their ads are 'feel good' ads.

These are some of the brilliant ads that have created a long lasting impression, however this is not the end of the list, there are a lot more good ad campaigns that have stood out from the rest all these years. I will share those in the upcoming edtions.