PJ Time

A very few that I managed to keep track of since the last post...


Vimal reads the fact of the day column from the news paper,

Vimal: Spotted bananas are generally sweeter.
Chai: Ya. That because they are almost completely ripe.
Vimal: No macha, only when a banana is spotted someone can eat it as say it’s sweet. If you don’t even spot a banana how will you ever know whether its sweet or not?
Chai: Ay IDIOT.

On seeing a Santro car with plastic covers on the seat,
Vimal: Some guy has bought a new SANTRO macha, this guy must have a very low self esteem to buy a santro.
Amith: Dude if he had an esteem for himself why will buy a santro?
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?!?!

Unni was checking out a new car,
Unni: Its very spacious at the back.
Vimal: I know. See there is an AC vent here.
Amith: so there is no AC in the car anymore, it went.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Amith: What’s the name given to a Sardar character in any tamil movie?
Vimal: Punjab Singh.
Amith: But you can never call Daler Mehandi by that name.
Vimal: Why not?
Amith: Because his is Punjab Sang.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?

Russel & Amith had the same message tone in their phones for some time.
Russel: Macha please change your ring tone. Every time your phone rings I reach out to my phone thinking its ringing.
Amith: Same here.
Vimal: For this only you guys are getting confused, imagine the days when everybody used to havea land line.

Amith: Do you want to listen to Silent Music?
Roy: Yup.
Vimal: Cool. Let’s play that blank CD.
Roy: ?!?!?!?!!?

PJ Time

Leeni: I burnt my hand.
Chai: Apply some soya sause.
Vimal: why did the mother in law sleep off?
Chai: What!?!?!?!?!?!
Vimal: ya soya in hindi means slept off and saas means mother-in-law right?
Chai: oh God.

While passin by Leeni's office,
Leeni: this is where somebody planted a bomb once.
Russel: did it grow?
Leeni: ha... ha... ha...

While eating at MTR,
Leeni: This cabbage tastes funny.
Russel: You feel like laughing?
Leeni: he... He... He...

Vimal: hey you guys start today, I'll take a train tomorrow and get there.
Leeni: but you'll not get tickets this is a holiday season.
Vimal: we'll talk to Lalu.
Russel: why?
Vimal: he is the ex-minister for indian railways that's why.
Russel: then he'll give you ex-tickets.
Vimal: ?!?!?!

We were leaving to Goa for the New Years and Chai came over to say goodbye,
Russel: Chai, why don't you come along?
Chai: no, you guys carry on.
Russel: come as it is, whats the problem.
Chai: No, you guys carry on
Vimal: Russel, let me ask him just half the question that you asked. Come. Ass.
Chai: hey Monkey.

Vimal: what's that guys name?
Russel: Viki.
Vimal: what happens when this guy goes to the loo?
Russel: _________ what happens?
Vimal: it will be vikileaks.
Russel: he... He... He...

Roy: ha ha, cops will catch you now.
Leeni: who'll throw him but?
Roy: ?!?!?!?!

While driving to Goa,
Amith: That truck driver was close.
Vimal: was he your relative or family friend or something?
Amith: why?
Vimal: You just said he was close.
Amith: !?!?!?!

Vimal: nonsence, I'm transferring all my brownie points to you.
Amith: Thank You.
Vimal: later when the time is right I'll take all that back from you.
Amith: That'll never happen.
Vimal: You didn't see that movie yesterday
? They said, ''You get more by giving.''
Amith: That's correct. I get more when you give.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Amith: The GPS says we have 224 kilometers left to cover.
Vimal: If it says 224 kms left, why are we going straight instead of going left?
Everyone in the car: ____________
Vimal: No one wants to get back to me on this one?..... ?!?!?!?!

Vimal: I think it requires a catalyst.
Leeni: What is a catalyst?
Vimal: In a chemical reaction, when the reactants are unable to...
Amith: when you make a list of all the cattles you have, its called a catalyst.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?!?

Vimal grabs a book just after finishing dinner.
Amith: You ate too much?
Vimal: Why do you ask?
Amith: You are reading Readers Digest, that's why I asked.
Vimal: !?!?!?!?!?

Roy: What is g-force?
Amith: When you are forcing someone with respect its called Ji-Force.
Roy: Forget it....

Amith: What is the opposite of insult?
Roy: Praise? Honor?
Amith: Its Outsult dude.
Roy: !?!?!?!?!?!?

Amith: Can you reduce the fan?
Vimal: Sorry, there is only one fan in this room, if I reduce this, there'll not be any fan left.
Amith: !?!?!?!?

On reading a name board on a taxi,
Amith: 'Shankar Travels.' Big deal so do we.
Everyone in the car: ha... ha... ha... ha...

Vimal: Where did you get the coconut from?
Leeni: From the coconut tree.
Vimal: !?!?!?!?!?!?

Roy: Give me the goggles let me try it out.
Amith: You can't try it 'OUT' because you are inside the car.
Roy: !?!?!?!?!?!?

Amith: wow, such a long bridge.
Roy: we have bridges all over goa.
Amith: Bugger. You can't have bridges all over, they'll be on roads.
Roy: God.

Vimal: From now on till we leave Goa, there is only onething I want to feast on.
Russel: What?
Vimal: Sea Food.
Amith: That's fine but you should also eat the food after you've seen food.

I recently called ICICI customer care to close my credit card account. The guy I spoke to was not conviced with my justification for closing my credit card. I'd decided not to use credit cards hence was getting rid of it. He tried explaining how a credit card can be useful in emergencies and its a life time free card so I can still keep the card and not use it. I tried explaining him that I understand all that and I still wanted to close the account. Inspite of me telling why I wanted to close the card, the guy kept asking me repeatedly why I'm closing the card which frustrated. Finally I put an end to this viscious cycle as follows,
ICICI guy: Any particular reason why you are closing this card?
Vimal: Like I told you mutiple times during this call I've decided not to use credit cards hence closing all my credit card accounts.
ICICI guy: ok, but is there any particular reason why you are closing the credit card?
Vimal: _______........ Well I'm closing this credit card because I did not like your TV commercials.
ICICI guy: I'm sorry sir, come again.
Vimal: I didn't like your TV commercial where you show the staff celebrating a customer's birthday with a candle on a ladoo. I felt that that ad was kind of stupid so I want to close the card. Can you close my account now please?
ICICI guy: ?!?!?!?!....... Ok, I'm closing your account and your confirmation number is...
And finally the consumer wins!

PJ Time

Vimal: Don't give us excuses, give us results.
Leeni: First give us a test naa then we will give you result.
Vimal: I shall have someone get back to you on that one.

Leeni: Oh, I forgot to call.... Shit.
Vimal: You know somebody called Shit!!!

Leeni: (while cooking egg) the yoke of this egg is light yellow in color! How is this possible?
Russel: May be this egg was laid in the shade...

@ Office during Lunch:
Vimal: Hey, have a bite.
Colleague: Thanks. (grabs a huge bite from what was offered).
Vimal: Dude I asked you to have a bite, not a kilo byte or a mega byte.
Colleague: ?!?!?!?

Chai: Guys I'm serious about this.
Amith: Ha, you are not serious. If you were serious you would've been in the hospital.
Chai: Oh God.

Leeni: I have this card but don't know what the pin number is.
Vimal: Give me the card and I will tell you the pin number.
Leeni: No I'm not giving you the card.
Vimal: Please... Please... Please...
Leeni: Ok. Here you go.
Vimal: (Looks on the reverse of the card and reads the CVV Number and says thats the pin number.)
Leeni: How is it the pin number?
Vimal: Its behind the card naa so technically its pin (pin in tamil means behind).
Leeni: ok.

Chai who used to have 2 cats in his house was once found walking a couple of dogs in the apartment premises.
Vimal: Hey Chai, your cats have really grown big man!!!
Chai: IDIOT.

While watching TV in Amith's place,
Vimal: Reduce the volume macha, your parents might wake up.
Amith: Bugger, my parents are not in town. They've gone to Hubli.
Vimal: I know. What I'm trying to say is that you've kept the volume so high that they can hear it in Hubli. That's why I'm saying you should reduce the volume.
Amith: Oh. I'll get back to you on this one.

Vimal: Aston Martin has been there for almost 97 years!!!
Amith: IBM has been around for more than 100 years.
Vimal: Who the hell cares?
Amith: Same here.
Vimal: I'm losing track of the things I'm supposed to get back to you on.

Vimal: Rajini Kanth's next cartoon movie is coming in 3D.
Amith: Really? Sultan?
Vimal: Ya but they've remaned it now.
Amith: To what?
Vimal: I Don't know.
Amith: Quite a funny name for a Rajini Kanth movie, 'I don't know.'
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Leeni (to Vimal): You should've worn this shirt for the interview. Generally plain shirts are better than striped shirts for interviews.
Amith: I can't afford it.
Leeni: Why?
Amith: Imagine if a plane ticket can cost as much as 5000 bucks how much a plane shirt must cost?
Vimal: Bugger if you buy a shirt that is meant for a plane how the hell will you wear it?
Leeni: Oh God.

In a training session,
Trainer: People have different reasons to come to work. What is the reason you all come to work?
Amith: Money
Trainer: Are you talking about currency? Money?
Amith: No I was talking about this guy called Mani.
Trainer: ?!?!?!?

Trainer: Guys please spend the next two hours preparing for the exam otherwise you will not be able to clear your certification. If you have any doubts you can ask me.
Vimal: Can you tell us where the question papers for test is kept?
Trainer: Ha ha nice try, but guys please be serious. I am very serious when it comes to things like these.
Vimal: Oh. That's fine, so where are the question papers kept?
Trainer: ?!?!?!?

Just Look at'em

Christmas is round the corner and the season is already set in in our friends RusLin's house. Santa was trying to get into their house through the chimney, poor Santa did not know that it was an electric chimney and that it was kept in the balcony.

Interensting....

Whoa!!! Heights of data security.

This is an interensting discovery, I didn't know cows gave coke.

Good One.

Man vs Machine

PJ Time - November

Work has kept me bugged and busy for the past 3 months and hence this series wasn't published for a while. I managed to compile a few funny moments or PJs this time around.

Vimal: What happens to White House when Obama is drunk?
Amith: What happens?
Vimal: It becomes "Tight House."
Amith: He he he...

Vimal to Leeni,
Vimal: Give me that bag, I'll carry.
Amith: You can't carry macha you are a guy.
Vimal: I shall get back to you on this one.

While driving up a hill during sunset,
Leeni: Wow look at the sky, what beautiful colors naa?
Vimal: What is more interesting is when God created the earth during black & white days, he still thought about all these beautiful colors that will come in the future and created it so well....
Leeni: What?!?!?

Russel: We can get up early in the morning tomorrow and come back to this hill to see the sunrise.
Vimal: You don't have to bother youself so much to see sunrise, if you want I can get it to our homestay. Just tell me whether you want to see the 100 grams packet or the 250 grams packet.
Russel: ___
Leeni: He chose to ignore what you said.

Amith, Russel and I were trying to open a wine bottle, the corck was so tight that we were unable to open it. We even tried a Swiss Cork Screw but was of no use, then
Vimal: With Swiss equipments we are unable to open a wine bottle, I wonder how in the olden days people like Jesus would have opened a wine bottle?
Russel: ?!?!?
Amith: ?!?!?

At a restraunt,
Vimal: (calls the waiter) Can I have some water please?
The waiter says yes, walks off and never returns.
Vimal: I'm sure that waiter is a kannadiga.
Russel: Why do you say that?
Vimal: I'm a tamilian, I asked for water and he has still not given me.
Amith: You can take mine if you want.
Vimal: Thank You (and emptys Amith's glass).
Russel: You've proven that you are a Tamilian.
Vimal: How?
Russel: You drank all the water.
Vimal: I shall get back to you on this one.

One of the senior executives in my organisation is a pakka tamilian. Now when I say pakka tamilian I mean people who think in Tamil, translate that into english in their mind and then speak. Generally there is a time lag when these people speak english. So in one of the reviews, this guy was furious about non performance and wanted to know what was going on. We wanted an explanation from us but he was so angry and wanted to say something in tamil but couldn't. I don't know if this dude translated his tamil thoughts in english in a hurry, he just looked at us and said, "DON'T TALK. TELL ME."

My Shot at Photography - The Most Adorable Couple

Here are a few good photographs I clicked of the most adorable couple I'ev ever known....

 

The next two photographs were clicked with some cream / oil stain on the lens (unintentional).

The purpose of the next photograph is not a display of my photography skills but to spread a social message.

How beautiful this photograph would've been if not for the smoke? Stop pollution, say no to crackers.

My Shot at Photography - The Fireworks

My brother bought an SLR last weekend and I'm hoping to borrow it sometime and take some good pictures, until then I will continue to showcase some good pictures (in my assessment) I've clicked on my digicam.

The Coconut Tree!