I tell you these Asians...

They say wherever in the world you go, you are sure to find Indians and Chinese - Obviously India and China are the two most populated countries in the world. Why are we talking about this, well I'm gonna tell you a story of Indo-Chinese connection in Central Europe. This is a true story...

I'm in Krakow, Poland now and I'm staying in this hotel where there are a bunch of Chinese tourists put up as well. They landed as a big group with big suitcases and bags and made big noises wherever they went. It was a saturday morning, I was just about to get out of the hotel and explore Krakow. I stepped out of my room and I saw this big suitcase pushed against the door of the room opposite to my room, I then realised that this opposite room's door is wide open and the big suitcase was the door stopper!

It was a few nano seconds I would've had my eyes on the suitcase and the door and just when I was about shut my door I heard a woman scream "NO!!!!" I looked up in the direction where the "NO!!!!" came from and I saw this Chinese woman sitting in the opposite room on a chair. While I was still wondering what was going on, that woman said "NO!!!!" a couple of more times and slowly walked towards the door as she yelled a few more "NO!!!!"s. I think her decibel was increasing with every "NO!!!!" she screamt.

For a minute I thought ay be she is telling me not to close my door, may be someone had detonated my door and it will explode the moment I close it. While I was wondering what I should do next, this lady walked u to the door, slowly pulled the big suitcase inside her room and closed the door.

"Unbelievable. I tell you these Asians," I said to myself as I nodded my head in disbelief.

For a moment I was wondering "why did she do that!?" But then I thought may be the last time she saw a brown man was when he ran away with her suitcase.... :-D

(Note: Pictures in this article have been randomly picked from the internet via google.)

PJ Time

Amith: What's the difference between a well and a borewell?
VImal: A borewell is a tenured well that is bored of doing the same job over and over again.
Amith: he.. he.. he.. good one.

Friend (reading a signboard on a highway): Don't mix drink and drive.
Vimal: Ya mix drink with soda.
Friend: ?!?!?!?!?

Vimal: Hey Russel did you see that board over there?
Russel: No what does it say?
Vimal: It says plot for sale.
Russel: OK plot it and sell it.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?!?

Upon reading a sign board that said 'Caution - Men at work.'

Leeni: Obviously, if women were working there would be no need to caution anybody.

Colleague: I can never get a brain fever because there is no brain in my head, its empty. he.. he.. he..
Vimal: Dude don't say that loud, the admin guys will put up 2 cubicles in your head then.
Colleague: ?!?!?!?!?!?

Leeni: Sewag's hit 100 in 30 odd balls, what an innings.
Russel: Obviously if you drop him twice that is what will heppen.
Unni: He was dropped twice?!?!?! How
Vimal: They dropped him once when he hit it close to the boundry.
Unni: Yes when did they drop him the second time?
Vimal: Then they showed the action replay and again they dropped him.
Unni: ?!?!?!?!?!

Colleague: Hey for a minute I saw that guy and thought he was Karthik

Vimal: Which Karthik?

Colleague: Karthik Gangadharan.

Vimal: Why will you think that guy is Karthik?

Colleague: He was short.

Vimal: Hey comeon ya, don't be so mean. This guy is taller!

Colleague: I bought a bottle of wine in Frankfurt and not sure if I actually want it.
Vimal: Big deal, you're return journey is again via Frankfurt so return the wine when you go back and you will get more money in return.
Colleague: How?
Vimal: Well the wine will be a month older than it was when you bought it.
Colleague: ?!?!?!?!?

While negotiation on a night tour in Dubai,
Tour Agent: Do you have the local currency to pay?
Vimal: Well I've got two options to make a payment - credit card or kidney.
Tour Agent: ?!?!?!?!?

At empire after i had ordered for my Beja Fry, Amith asked for Aloo Jeera and the waiter said they don't have it.

Vimal: I'll ask him to bring Aloo and Jeera seperately, you'll eat it together?

Amith: Why don't you have beja and fry separately? Oh sorry forgot, since you don't have brain you'll one get fry.

Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?

Vimal: Hey that's an oxymoron.
Amith: No No you are a moron.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?
(Note: Pictures in this article have been randomly picked from google.)

A Generation’s Gap

Each generation has always found it difficult to convince their previous generation why they do what they do. In the last 2 -3 decades the way things have transformed in India has only added to this complication. One of the things that have been a challenge for our generation is telling people what we do for a living. Here are a couple of instances I’ve come across or know of…

I recently met one of my relatives who was curious to know what I did for a living, and here’s how it went…..

Relative: So where do you work you said?

Vimal: I work for Tesco

Relative: Oh, is it a Tata Company?
Vimal: Well no, it is a common misconception, Tesco is actually an MNC in itself, but in a way you are right we do have tie up with the Tatas in India.

Relative: So what do you do in Telco?

Vimal: Well its not Telco, its Tesco. I work in the Project Management Office, we manage…

Relative: Aiyaiyooo I am asking where you work and what you do and you are telling something something and all…. Do you really work some where or you are just fooling around.

Vimal: Ok, I work for Tesco which is the world’s third largest retailer.

Relative: What is that?

Vimal: It’s a UK based retailer, we sell a wide range of products, like all under one roof types. Something like Big Ba…

Relative: I am not understanding anything you are saying. Hehehehe…. I think you are trying to hide something.

Vimal: Ok, fine. Let me tell you the truth I work for a Provision store.
Relative: Ah-ha…. No wonder I see you in shorts most of the time.

I started my work life at a call centre at the entry level. I have a friend called Vidhya who also started off at the same call centre probably about 3 – 4 months before I did. She is from Ooty and moved to Bangalore when she got the job at this call centre. After she kind of settled down in Bangalore she went back to her home town on a short vacation. One of the many people who asked her what she did in Bangalore was her granny, and this is how the conversation went....

Granny: So where do you work in Bangalore?

Vidhya: I work for this company called MsourcE, its a call center.

Granny: Call Center? What is a call center?

Vidhya: Basically people n America call us asking for some information about their account and we provide information. 

Granny: Oh ok. Understood.

A little later some more relatives came over to Vidhya's granny's place.

Relatives: We heard you got a job in Bangalore?

Vidhya: Yes.

Relatives: Very good, what do you do?

Granny: Some Americans have a telephone booth in Bangalore and she works there!

Relatives: Oh. Ok.