PJ Time - March

Vimal: Hey macha do you know that there is a woman in Nilgiris who can lay eggs?
Baba: Seriously!?!?!
Amith: Yaa man.
Baba: Which Nilgiris?!?!?!
Vimal: Indiranagar.
Baba: Oh Shit, how did you come to know about it?
Vimal: The other day we were at the store and Russel asked for eggs. So this supervisor called this sales girl and said "oru dozen muttai poduma." And she came with eggs.
Baba: oh.. Shit.. Why did I even open my mouth.

At Indiranagar Nilgiris,
Russel: (to some sales girl) Excuse Me. Do you have barbeque sauce?
Sales Girl: Babu ki saas?!?!?!... Babu ki saas?!?!?!... Babu ki saas?!?!?!... (In hindi it means Babu's mother-in-law).
Vimal: Forget it macha, we'll look for it ourselves....

While driving past the K R Puram Bridge..
Vimal: I wonder why they still haven't cremated this bridge?
Russel: Why?
Vimal: It's a hanging bridge.
Russel: Aah...

While watching some reality show on T.V
Vimal: Let me go and do some work atleast instead of going through this torture. (goes inside and comes back with a screwdriver).
Vimal: Hey Leeni, is there anything in your house that need to be fixed right now?
Leeni: Yes. Your brain.
Amith: Ha ha ha ha....
Vimal: Umm... how can I fix something that does not exist?

Amith: Goli Maar usko. (In hindi goli means bullet and this phrase is the equivalent of shoot them)
Vimal: Why do you want to hit them with pills? (In hindi goli also means pills and maar means hit)
Leeni: If you had to be in Afganistan, Taliban would have given up terrorism long back.

Amith: I generally don't mingle with my relatives much, there was only one cousin with whom I was pretty close.
Vimal: Ok. so who is pretty in this and who is close?
Amith: ?!?!? Well. I'm pretty and he is close.
Vimal: Ok.

A liitle later...
Vimal: I heard this new tamil movie's story is pretty similar to my love life...
Amith: Who is pretty in this and who is similar?
Vimal: Ada Paavi, you are giving my biscut back to me huh?

How to compliment and insult some one at the same time?
Answer# 1:
Boy: Hey you are pretty.
Girl: Thank You.
Boy: Oh no wait I still haven't finished. You are pretty.... annoying.
Answer # 2:
Boy 1: Hey you are kind.
Boy 2: Thank you.
Boy 1: wow wow wait I still haven't finished. You are kind... of useless.

While sitting at a restraunt, Amith's phone rings..
Chai: How do you get that ring tone?
Vimal: You need to get a text message to get that ring tone.
Chai: oh God. I shouldn't have opened my mouth.

Russel: This is fish or what?
Vimal: That's what the waiter said but I highly doubt that.
Meghana: Why?
Vimal: He said fish finger, but fish doesn't have fingers, they have fins.
Meghana: How stupid?
Vimal: Hey ain't I brave?
Chai: Why?
Vimal: I don't know swimming and I'm eating fish.
Meghana: oh God. Enough.

Chai: Hey. your home town is coimbatore right?
Amith: No macha Home Town is in Marathalli (Home Town is also the name of a store in Bangalore).
Meghana: Oh God. These guys are never serious when they speak or what?
Amith: Well if we are serious we'll not be here naa.. we'll be in hospital.
Meghana: Never mind.

Chai is a guy who works long hours and we generally keep pulling his leg saying he spends so much time in office because he opens and closes the gates of our company.
Chai: How come you are spending long hours in office?
Amith: Well I'm inspired by you Chai. I'm following your footsteps.
Chai: But don't get into this habit, It's..
Vimal: You open and close the gates of MphasiS now?
Chai: oh God. Here we go again.

Meghana: I have adopted this new cat and I'm wondering what to name her now?
Vimal: You should hame the cat 'Flash.'
Meghana: Why?
Vimal: Because the other two cats that you already have are pixel and megapixel so I thought Flash would be an appropriate name unless you want to name her gigapixel. (Actually the two cats' names are Pixie and Marushka).
Meghana: Forget it.

Vimal: So you are going to Ooty huh?
Leeni: Yup.
Vimal: What is Ooty famous for??
Leeni: Chocolates?
Vimal: It used to be famous for one thing which is not in Ooty anylonger.
Leeni: What?
Vimal: Me!
Leeni: I thought that was coimbatore???
Vimal: That also....

Vimal: This thing is getting out of control now...
Leeni: So is your age..
VImal: ?!?!?!?!?!
Leeni is still waiting for a comeback statement from VImal on this...

Leeni's colleague: I have some Michel Jackson songs but all of them are in english.

Vimal: Hey. That shop's name is Fit Right Shoes, may be we'll find our size there.
Russel: What was the name again?
Vimal: FIt Right Shoes.
Leeni: So what about the left foot then?
Vimal: ????!!!!

While watching a cricket match @ Chinnaswamy Stadium
Vimal: Do you know Anil Kumble's interview came in today's paper. He says he wants to become a Lokh Sabha Member.
Russel: Is it?!
Vimal (to Leeni): I'm happy that Shashrukh did not become an Umpire.
Leeni: Why?
Vimal: He stretches his arms all the time and people will think he is showing 'wide.'
Russel: He will become macha.
Vimal: Umpire? Hey but Shahrukh has not been through any professional cricket training.
Russel: I'm talking about Anil Kumble becoming a politician.

Russel: Hey Chai, howmuch did you pay for the car?
Chai: 4 Lacs.
Russel: That's a bit high man.
Chai: They actually asked for 420.
Vimal: You are there naa 420. so what was the problem?
Chai pours water on Vimal.

Russel (on the phone): Hey Chai come over.
Chai: Give me 2 minutes.
Vimal: Oh you are making Maggi Noodles huh?
Chai: Shut up.

A little later...
Chai: Let's go with the maximum.
Vimal: Do youi know what maximum means?
Chai: What?
Vimal: Periamma.
Chai: oh God.

Leeni: You don't do any work at office anyways...
Chai: Says who?
Vimal: Ya now the gates at MphasiS are electronically controlled.
Chai: Shut up.
Some Guy (in office): Hey Baba how come your vehicle is parked in our basement for ages? You are not using it or what?
Baba: Month end macha, so no money to buy petrol. That's why I'm using the other vehicle.
Vimal: So what does your other vehicle run on?
Baba: What????
Vimal: What does your other vehicle run on?
Baba: What stupid question macha obviously petrol only.
Vimal: Hey just now you said month end, you don't have money to buy petrol so your using the other vehicle. So how can the other vehicle run on petrol.
Baba:.....
Some Guy: Ha ha ha ha...
Baba: Forget it macha... I need to dial into a meeting now.