PJ Time - February

Here we are... back with some of the deadly PJs and one liners....

These were a series of Jokes based on one of our Friend's name 'Malcolm.'

Vimal: What will you say when Malcolm has gone to a function?
All: What?
Vimal: Mal Function

Amih: What will you say if Malcolm starts practising Law?
All: What?
Amith: Mal Practise.

Vimal: What will you say if Malcolm has eaten properly?
All: What?
Vimal: Mal Nourished.

Amith: What will you call a nutriion product that Malcom would Invent?
All: What?
Amith: Mal Nutrition.

Malcolm: Enough Man. Shut up.
Vimal:What is malcolm's attire called as?
All: What?
Vimal: Mal ware.

Amith: What is the name of the locality Malcolm lives in?
All: What:
Amit: Mal'area'

Vimal: What wil you say when Malcolm smokes a beedi in a bar?
All: What?
Vimal: 'Mal'abar Beedi

Malcolm: Oh God!
Vimal & Amith: Yes you called me?
Malcolm: oh Shit....

Vimal: What hapens to Carol on December 25th?
Carol: What happens...
Malcolm: I don't know.
Vimal: She becomes Christmas Carol!
Malcolm: Oh Go... Never Mind...

Vimal: What do you say when Malcolm has gone out?
Malcolm: Malgone.
Vimal: See now you are calibrated.
From that day Macolm and Carol call us Vilas and Omith.
Vimal: Hey do you know why they don't have to sell cough syrups in Dubai?
Chai: Why they are considered as drugs or something?
Vimal: No because right on the cover it says shake well before use.
Chai: Shut Up.

Vimal: Russel, drive slow there is a cow in front of you.....
Leeni: That's a bull...
Vimal: Whatever I can't make out if its a bull when its dark.
Amith: Why would you want to make out with a bull?
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!
Leeni: This must go on your blog.

Malcolm: Shahid Kapoor got some award recently do you know for which move he got the award?
Vimal: I think it was for 3 idiots.
Malcolm: What? Shaid Kapoor never acted in that movie.
Vimal: That's exactly why they gave him the award.

Vimal: My computer is crashing too often these days man.
Russel: Why don't you sell your computer..
Amith: May be say 10,000 bucks..
Vimal: No Macha I can't give my computer and 10,000 on top of it for the taker.

Vimal: Hey Rishi, this is your cigarette packet?
Rishi: Yes.
Vimal: Do you know if i smoke this cigerette my birthday will change?
Rishi: What?!?!?!
Vimal: Ya on the cover it says smoking causes cancer, I'm an aquarian now.
Rishi: Aiyoo.....

Leeni was trying out a shoe to go with her dress, she had put on one shoe to just check...
Leeni: Russel, does this look perfet?
Russel: Yes.
Vimal: Actually no. You'll need to put on the other shoe as well.
Leeni: Thanks Vimal. What would we do wthout you around.

While watching Avatar, in the end the hero tells the heroine 'I see You,' which is the equivalent to I love you in aelien language and the heroine reciprocates with, 'I see You."
Amith: That guy is trying to tell I'm seriously injured take me to the ICU and this mad woman is telling 'I See You' women I tell you.

Leeni: Hey Chai, you didn't go to work yesterday and today?
Chai: Ya.
Leeni: The who is opening and cloing the gates at MphasiS?
Chai Expresses irritation.
Vimal: Let's spare him atleast when he is not keeping well. Actually I had to jump off the fence yesterday and today because Chai was on leave.
Chai: ?!?!?!

Jai: Macha I'm so unhappy with my job, I want to put papers.
Vimal: Ya you can but first find out how much they will pay and will you be able to get up early in the morning?
Jai: What?!?!?!
Vimal: You said you want to put paper naa... Its a tough job macha... you have to wake up early in the morning, you'll need to remember which paper to put in which house, etc.
Jai: Forget it, I'll go talk to someone else.

Shushmit: Hey what channel is this you guys are watching?
Russel: Discovery Turbo.
Vmal: It's an amazing channel. 24 hours they only show automobiles, reviews, making of vechiles, remodelling, designing...
Leeni: In short they show vandi repair 24/7.
Vimal: Vandi Repair? Leeni there is so much more than vandi repair that they show in this.
Since then discovery turbo is called as the 'Vandi Repair Channel.'

Russel was waiting in the hosptal for a surgical procedure to be completed.
Doctors: Lets give him a local anesthesia.
Vimal & Amith: What nonsense. He is foreign return why are they not giving him an international anesthesia. Shall we ask the doctors?
Russel: Guys stop embarassing me and wait outside.

Russel: Who is gong to bring the coffee from the cafeteria kitchen?
Vimal: Amith will go.
Leeni: Hey we've ordered 3 cofees how will he get 3 coffees with 2 hands man?
Vimal: oh. Amith do one thing, drink one coffee there only and get the other two. Problemo Solved.
Leeni: Shouldn't have opened my mouth.

Amith: Guys. I finally got my promotion papers. Who is treating me now?
Leeni: Fabian the Psychiatrist
Amith: ?!?!?!

Vimal: The purpose of a Business Improvement Team is to validate your gut feel with numbers.

At a wedding, some random friend
Friend: Hey where do you wash hands?
Vimal: In the hand.
Friend: ?!?!?!

Saravana: I heard two or three people will quit in another two months, why?
Vimal: Bramin Studies
Saravana: Bramin Studies????
Vimal: Matlab Higher Studies. (Higher is generally pronounced as Iyer in south india)

Vimal: When you know you are going for a debrief session, make sure you put on atleast two briefs.