PJ Time

A lot of my friends curse me for the kind of PJs / Oneliners I come up with time and again but end of the day we all have a good laugh except the one to whom the PJ / Oneliners is directed to. Well actually all of my close friends come up with deadly PJ / Oneliners themselves which has left me speachless sometimes as well. Here is a compilation of such PJs and one liners...

Vimal: Hey our clients travelled in the same flight we travelled in, but we reached Pune before them.
Rishi: How is that possible man?
VImal: We were sitting in the front and the clients were sitting at the back.
Rishi: Aiiyoooo.

Once we all planned to go out for dinner and Chai came checking on us..
Chai: You Guys are ready?
Amith: No we are naidu..
Chai: Oh God....

Leeni: Hey Russel's team won the dream team award today.
Vimal: Oh so his is the only team that keeps dreaming and not doing any work huh?
Leeni: Good one... We'll bug Russel with that.

Karan: Hey this is where we took photo last time as well.
Vimal: Is it? But who dropped the photo?
Shashi: Ha Ha Ha Ha...
Karan: ?!?!?!?!?!?!

Rishi: He made a career limiting move.
Vimal: I guess the next time he'll make a career limiting Amruthanjan.
Rishi: Aiyyoooo.... Hey go da....
Vimal: Why are you calling me a horse?
Rishi: What?
Vimal: Goda means horse in hindi naa?
Rishi:?!?!?!?

Vimal: My neighbour has two cats and he has kept some wierd names for them. One is pixel and the other is megapixel!
Amith: Macha that's pixie and marushka.
Vimal: Whaterver....

Vimal: Our Ramu quit naa. He is with ABC Company.
Baba: Seriously?! What is he there as?
VImal: Employee.
Baba: ?!?!?!?!?

While watching the movie Taking of the Pelham 1 2 3.
Leeni: Vimal. Quickly tell me which part this is? 1, 2 or 3?
Vimal: ?!?!?!

Baba: I need a beer macha...
Russel: Its in the fridge...
Baba: Macha where is the opener?
Vimal: Both are in Mohali, one is injured I guess.
Baba: What ?!?!?
Vimal: You were asking for Sewag & Ghambir right?
Baba: Aiiyoooo

Vimal: Hey Chai, I read this somewhere. Let me see if you can crack this. You are in a boat in the middle of the sea and all you got is two cigarettes and no ligher or match box. How will you light the cigarette?
Chai: I'll quit smoking.
Vimal: No Chai, just throw one cigarette into the water.
Chai: How does that help?
Amith: The boat becomes lighter
Chai: ?!?!?! Dai Magane...
Amith: Or you can start praising one cigarette and the other cigarette will start burning out of jealousy.
Chai starts punching Vimal & Amith.

Russel: How come you are coming back from work so late?
Vimal: Don't ask macha.
Leeni: Ok Fine. Russel shall I serve dinner?
Russel: Yup.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?!

Russel: I want to try Lasania
Vimal: I'll let you know the next time Sania Mirza goes to France.
Russel: What's that got to do with Lasania.
Vimal: Because in France Sania will become La Sania right? that's why.
Russel: ?!?!?!
Chai: Dai....

Vimal: How to improve digestion?
Chai: How?
Vimal: You should read a book while eating.
Chai: How does that help?
Vimal: 'Readers Digest' naa...
Chai: ?!?!?!

Why doesn't fairness creams make people fair?
Because when you are applying the cream to your face, the cream actually gets applied to your palm and not your face that why. Don't believe me, check out your palm you will realise that its fairer than you face!

Vimal: How to succeed?
Chai: If this is one of your PJs I'll kill you. Anyways tell me.
Vimal: After you have eaten the fruit, suck the seed instead of throwing it away, that's how you sucseed.
Chai: Dai Magane.

This is meant for the shortest guy in the group: "How is the air down there?" or "Bugger you'll be the last one to know when it rains."

Amith says this a lot, "You are half way towards being successful, you SUCK."

"Your IQ is Chappal Size."

Leeni says this a lot to Vimal: "You are a 'geniASS' (genius)."

"Fail Fail until you successfully Fail."

Chai: Macha I went to pick up some chicken liver from the meat shop.
Vimal: Dude you should have bought Hindustan Lever instead.
Amith: No dude Godrej 7 lever is better than all this.
Chai: Dai Magane.

Amith: What do you do when you feel sick?
Chai: Take medicines?
Amith: No. You should put your hands up in the air and say 'balley balley.' (Sick is generally pronounced as Sikh in south india).
Chai: ?!?!?!

Russel: Why aren't you eating fish?
Vimal: Because I don't know swimming.

Vimal: Why don't you eat non veg?
Amith: I'm a vegetarian macha.
Vimal: So what. You drink water, water is non vegetarian.
Amith: How?
Vimal: Fish lives in water naa....
Russel: Macha you can eat mutton or beef both goat and cow are vegetarians, they eat only grass...
Amith: ?!?!?!?
Chai: You buggers....!?!?!

Baba: Macha our sandeep bought a new blackberry.
Amith: Is it? which one.
Baba: Black Berry Storm.
Vimal: Hey no man Halle Berry is storm.
Baba: What?!?!?!?
Amith: You've not seen the x-men movies? In that Halle Berry's character name is Storm.
Baba: Sorry macha I shouldn't have opened my mouth in front of you guys.

Vimal: Baba let's see whose phone has the loudest sound output. I bet my Nokia 6131 is 1000 times better than your expensive blackberry.
Vimal then plays a song from his phone and Baba also start playing the same song. Vimal stops playing after a while and Baba is still playing the song.
Vimal: Oh your phone is playing the song? I didn't know you even started playing until i stopped playing in my phone.
Amith: Baba that was an insult.
Vimal: But I thought that was a black berry.
Baba: Sorry macha I'll leave....