Saturday, November 5, 2011

PJ Time

While watching KBC, the following question had me puzzled.
Question: Which of the following terms is used to refer to “Bewakoof banana?”
Until the right answer was revealed, I was wondering why on earth will they call a banana a foolish person. Later did I realize that the question was referring to the hindi banana meaning ‘making’ while I was thinking it was referring to the English banana - the fruit. From then on my friends have given me a new nick name – Bewakoof Banana (in this case banana means the fruit).

While serving dinner
Leeni: Aparna made the vegetables.
Vimal: Oh. I Didn't know that you are into farming.
Aparna: Ya I do a lot of farming in Farmville.
Vimal: I don't have a come back for that....

In a training,
Trainer: What is a scatter diagram?
Vimal: A chart with chicken pox?
Everyone: Ha ha ha....

Leeni: what is this? You are not giving me a chance to fight only.
Vimal: That's the idea.
Leeni: what is this yaa? Mein shaanthi se lad bhi nahi sakthi.
Vimal: Why do you want to fight with Shanthi?
Leeni. Aye. Nonsense.

After watching the biggest disaster of the year - Ra One.
Leeni: With great difficulty we got these guys to watch a Sharukh Khan movie in the theatre, now after this nobody will come for a Sharukh Khan movie ever again.
Amith: I know.
Vimal: Hey, I will come again for a Shahrukh Khan movie.
Leeni: But we are talking about nobody naa Vimal and you are not nobody na Vimal.
Vimal: Well, actually I'm nobody for somebody.
Leeni: But I am not somebody naa Vimal.
Vimal: Ok. I give up.

Vimal: Hey, which car is that? Oh its an Optra.
Amith: Why?
Vimal: It looks odd with that spoiler.
Amith: Put one more spoiler and then it'll look even!
Vimal:?!?!?!?!?



Leeni was walking up to the elevator.
Vimal: Take the stairs Leeni.
Leeni: Take it where? And put it in your head is it?
Vimal: Oh God.

Chai: That cooker is making a funny sound.
Leeni: Is it? Why are you not laughing then?
Chai: oh God Leeni, you too.

Vimal: Hey Chai, you keep using this word blumin all the time - blumin current is gone, blumin lift is not working, etc. What does it mean?
Chai: shut up Vimal.
Vimal: oh ok ok I know what it means, it means a fish that is blue in color.
Chai: What!?!?!?
Vimal: Blue Meen macha, put together becomes blumin right?
Chai: How do people put up with you man?

Russel: oh Shit, I left my lipguard in the car.
Amith: Rich people macha.
Vimal: What?!?!?
Amith: ya macha normally people keep bodyguard but this guy has a guard for his lip also.
Vimal: he he he....

Vimal: Good news for Shopping enthusiasts – Phoenix Shopping mall is opening tomorrow.
Jayanthi: Why not today?
Vimal: Because I told them I won’t be able to make it for the ribbon cutting due to security concerns.
Jayanthi: LOL. What security concerns?
Vimal: The security guards in the mall have some problem with me and won’t let me in. That’s the security concern.
Jayanthi: Ha ha.

While fixing a mechanical defect in the car,
Amith: This nut needs to be full tight maga.
Vimal: Just pour half a bottle of vodka on it,
Amith: What will that do?
Vimal: The nut will get drunk and become full tight macha.
Amith: dai!

Another friend joins us while we were still working through the mechanical defect.
Russel: how many nuts did I give you?
Vimal: 4 and an extra nut just arrived.
Russel: ha ha.

A few minutes later this friend left and while he was leaving,
Vimal: Macha, are you sure you don't need the extra nut? Coz its just leaving.
Friend: Ay bugger.

On the way back home after fixing the mechanical defect.
Vimal: I think I'll pack my stuff about 15 - 20 mins before we leave. What do you say?
Amith: Anything macha, anyways you won't take much time to pack. You are well organised.
Vimal: you really think so?
Amith: I don't know, I'm just being cautious as you still have the hammer in your hand.
Vimal: ha ha ha

While watching 'My Name is Khan' on TV, Amith who was about to get married the following weekend, says, ''My Name is Kumar and I'm not a bachelor.'

Vimal: Oh Dear Lord!
Leeni: Tell me.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!?

Jayanthi: Are you crazy?
Vimal: No I am Vimal.
Jayanthi: PJ.
Vimal: Poor Joke?
Jayanthi: No. Poor Jayanthi.
Vimal: he he he.

Vimal: See you. Enjoy your trip to Mysore.
Jayanthi: I may go.
Vimal: You are going in October, not May. And before you say it – PJ.
Jayanthi: Daiiii

After we reached Hassan.
Vimal: Do you know what a lotus is called in this place?
Russel, Leeni & Amith: What?
Vimal: Kamal Hassan.
Russel, Leeni & Amith: Dai.

Leeni: We won’t wake up until 11, 11:30 tomorrow.
Vimal: But leg mother will come earlier than that?
Leeni: What leg mother?
Vimal: Our maid Kalamma (Kal – leg, Amma – mother)
Leeni & Russel: Ha Ha Ha….

Vimal: Nice place, can we stop by here on the way back and roam around?
Amith: Dude, why just roam around, you can paris around also.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!

Vimal: I think we all need to call our moms and say 'Hi.'
Everyone in the car: Why?
Vimal: We just went past a Thai airways hoarding which said, "Say hi to Thai."
Everyone in the car: Oh God VIMAL!!!!

Vimal: Hey can we call Uttam Sagar and ask for door delivery?
Leeni: But we don't need doors Vimal, we need food.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

At a tollgate on the way to Tumkur.
Amith: Macha let's buy the daily pass.
Vimal: Why you are buying a daily pass macha, we are not going to come here daily.
Amith: No V (meaning Vimal) will come here daily. Now that we have bought the daily pass you will have to ensure you come here daily.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?!

While sitting out in the balcony on a rainy day.
Vimal: I wonder if these frogs keep making this sound the whole night.
Russel: There are so many out there, I thought frogs are in the verge of extinction.
Vimal: Is it?
Russel: Ya I was seeing some documentary on Nat Geo and they were saying frogs have been listed as endangered species and are in the verge of becoming extinct.
Vimal: Hmmm. Must be because of Indians only.
Russel: How?
Vimal: Indians produce so many kids each year. And year after year more kids go to school and dissect frogs in the labs.
Russel: Ha ha ha...

Amith: I know why you have this undying sprit macha.
Vimal: Why?
Amith: Because you can't dye naa and that's why you have the undying spirit.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Vimal: I am thinking...
Leeni: Thinking is Tax free naa that's why you keep thinking so much macha. If they have to tax people for thinking imagine the amount of tax you'll pay for your PJs.
Amith: I know every month he'll be complaining he didn't get any salary due to tax deductions. They will even levy luxuary tax for his PJs.
Leeni: No macha, they will levy health tax so that government can treat all the people who are affected because of his PJs.
Vimal: Oh Dear Lord.

Vimal: What macha you are confused about the colors huh. I'll go tell everybody that you are colorblind.
Amith: Please go ahead, I'll tell everybody that you are an eastman color.
Vimal: ?!?!?!?

Amith: Dude, are you pissed?
Vimal: No. Why do you ask?
Amith: Nothing there is a toilet here that's why I asked.

Chidu: Find out howmany people are coming from your office.
Amith: Let me look up my contacts group called IBM and see.
Chidu: You have a contact group for your office contacts!?!?!?
Vimal: Oh macha he is heights of organisation. I wont be surprised if he has groups called IBM D Block ground floor, IBM D block 1st floor, etc.
Amith & Chidu: Ha ha ha...

(Note: Images in this article are randomly picked from the world wide web.)